Daniel McDonough

Daniel McDonough was born in the wilderness of upstate New York and raised by wolves. Learning their ways, he became the leader of a wolfpack whose name translates to "We Kill Mostly Rabbits". McDonough's name in wolfish means "fearsome one."

In the late 1970's "fearsome one" came in contact with a discarded Apple II computer. Despite not knowing the English language, "fearsome one" had an innate sense of the logic of the machine and quickly mastered programming the machine. Eventually, the Apple II computer, which "fearsome one" named "not rabbit, friend" brokered his understanding of logic into fluency in English. Socialized by this machine, "fearsome one" left the wolfpack, and took on the human name "Daniel McDonough" from a random human name generator he programmed. He then traveled to Boston, MA and began attending Massachusetts Institute of Technology where his wild origins occasionally resurfaced.

Portsmouth Abbey
After MIT, Daniel McDonough became a teacher at several prep schools eventually settling down at the Portsmouth Abbey. The smell of the Portsmouth wilderness, and the savage, oppressive culture of the school, made him feel like he was back in the wolfpack.

Teaching math and at times computer science, McDonough became a revered teacher for his thorough knowledge and his capable teaching techniques.

McDonough also became a coach for the Cross Country and Track programs, using his wolf-learned fitness as a model for the team's training techniques. He had enormous success in coaching, particularly in Track, where he presided over the SENE dynasty of the Early 2000's and coached several sqauds into top three finishes in the New England Prep Champions.

The Missing Years
One day in late November, McDonough awoke to discover a wolf sitting on the lawn in front of his home. A light snow was falling, but through the snow, McDonough could see that this was the legendary wolf leader "with front paws only." Exiting his home in the early dawn, McDonough greeted "with front paws only" and asked what he could do for the wolf leader. The wolf leader explained that the cubs of the wolves were in need of progressive education, as man-made threats to their natural habits had made the life of the wolf very difficult since McDonough had gone to MIT. McDonough immediately offered to help in anyway he could, and immediately left the Portsmouth Abbey to assist "with front paws only." Working mostly in Pennslyvania, "fearsome one" (for McDonough had returned to his wolf identity) developed the Millenial Education for Wolves Curriculum (MEWC) which added English language training and computer programming to the traditional hunting, stalking, and playing curriculum in place in wolf culture since the mid 1950's. The curriculum did not go smoothly at first, as the young wolf students were more interested in partying and she-wolves than computer science, but "fearsome one" won their respect and made them the most gifted group of wolves ever trained. Some of the wolves went on to work at Google, but the bulk went on to Harvard and founded Facebook.

His task now completed, "with front paws only" enjoined "fearsome one" to re-become Daniel McDonough and return to the Portsmouth Abbey.

A memoir written by one of the wolf students will be adapted into a Walt Disney production called "Learning with Wolves: the Dan McDonough Story" (2012).

References in Popular Culture
Daniel McDonough has not appeared on an episode of The Simpsons. YET.